timboerger.net Not afraid of a few strong opinions.

Tough Days

I haven't been posting much lately because the last few days have been a bit busy on the home front.  Sunday I did manage to play hockey (we won, go us) but the juggling to do so became difficult on many, many fronts.  Yesterday and today have been a series of juggling all of the demands of our family and home, not always successful.  All in all, the past few days have been hard and left both Melanie and I exhausted.

However, I can say that I'm working on posting some items up in the next few days.  Of those, here's what I know that I'll do in the week:

• More Audrey pictures coming up.  Perhaps a funny anecdote here or there as well.  I've had people asking and I hear ya, brother do I hear ya.  Should happen soon-ish.
• Final post on Star Trek Online.  It's officially a month old, I've played through a good chunk of it and the major reviews are out.  I don't think this is going to be a surprise if you've read my previous stuff on it.
• Some notes on coffee and lattes.  I've been really reading about this lately and the education continues.

Those are the three things that pop into my head right now.  Of course, there are some other things going on as well.  My fiction writing is starting to get going again.  Funny what a deadline or two will do for you.

Hang tight, everyone.  I'm sure I'll have something of moderate interest in the next week.

Get Off Your Ass!

Umm, that's my motivational inner self yelling at my exterior self who does things like control my body.  It's all very metaphysical right now, hoping the motivation does the trick.  Why, you ask?

Yesterday I discovered there is an open fiction workshop at CONvergence this year which really piqued my interest.  Thing is, as like most workshops, they require a writing sample to see if you make the cut...more or less.  They want a writing sample from you to make sure that the time they are investing is not going to waste.  Perfectly reasonable.

What it means is that I'm more motivated to get a good writing sample (short story most likely) in order to take advantage of this opportunity and hopefully be good enough to get in the workshop.  If not, then I learned my lesson and I should start looking at other workshops to get my writing back up to snuff.  I'm sure it won't be like when I was in college where I did a bunch of writing on a fairly regular basis which kept my chops up.

Here's hoping.

The Post Pile

Occasionally I'll look through the posts on my site and I'll see the ones I've abandoned.  It's usually for different reasons.  A couple of them are actually story ideas that I needed to jot down, so I threw a post about them in a permanent draft, never to see the light of day on the Interwebz.  A couple more of the limbo posts were specific to the time they were first written and if I had posted them way-back-then, it might have made sense at the time.  Now they're dated and only make sense to me.

Still, the others are usually posts that I reconsider, step back from to take a breath (rants, generally), or some are just some free thinking on a couple of topics I found interesting.  The last example is a lot like my writing compost pile I have in a drawer--a physical manifestation of brainstorming jotted down on legal pads, scraps of paper, old receipts.  Ideas, jammed together, given room and time to see if they will bear any fruit.  Some times it smells.

No, not really.  Just kidding about that last one.  But some of the goofy writing I've got in that pile will make you scrunch your nose up as if you had just stepped in something foul.

There are a couple of posts I've started where I find out a couple of sentences into the piece that I don't know how to write about that particular topic.  Take for example a draft I had titled Impending Fatherhood;  This was before Audrey was born and I wanted to write down how I was feeling.  Thing was, Audrey was here before I finished it and I'm glad it worked out that way.  I look at it now, a post not even three weeks old and the single line I did manage to put down is wrong.  The wrong angle, the wrong feeling and a general sense of self-importance where it really wasn't appropriate.  Every single word was wrong and the title itself took on a Hindenburg-like quality; looks good at the beginning, but in the end, a huge problem.  In the moments after Audrey's birth, the motivation to describe my feelings before it no longer had any weight, no longer seemed important to share or even explore.  The post died on the vine.

I had a similar thought when I wanted to talk about friendship.  You might remember in a somewhat recent post that I mentioned that I was lonely.  Shortly after the post, I began to get phone calls and emails on friends "just checking up" on me.  Either it was serendipity, or people thought it might be nice to drop a line.  Regardless, I was deeply touched.  I wanted to write about it, but I found I was getting too sentimental.  What I should have done is just post thank you in big, bold letters to everyone and left it at that because there wasn't much else to say.  I left it as another unfinished draft.  Thinking about it, how can you really put into words in a blog post about what your friends and family mean to you?  Much more appropriate for a book (maybe) or poetry.

Over time, I'm sure the number of posts will grow and maybe I'll use a snippet here or an idea there, but a good writing compost is a good idea.  If nothing else, it's nice to see ideas grow and evolve.

An Open Letter to Snowmobilers in My Area

Greetings snowmobilers!  As you can tell by the frequency of the sun shining in the area and the temps pushing forty degrees, it's probably getting close to wrapping it up and storing those noise belching machines away.  I hope you had a fun season running around on the massive tracked crotch-rockets with the abundance of snow this year.  I would, however, like to request a couple of things for next year.

See those things on the side there.  No, not that side.  Those are trees.  The other side.  Those building-like things.  Those are houses.  People live in them.  You're driving through what is known to be a "residential area".  While there are some of you who actually see the 10 mph sign posted at both ends and pretty closely honor that speed, I'm afraid a great many of you aren't even looking.  You see, occasionally we venture over to the edge of the wood.  It could be a couple of kids, or maybe people walking their dog...something.  I have to say, it is a bit unnerving to know that where I was just walking, a couple of guys blew through there with barely looking.  Probably wanted to catch happy hour and the free drink at the bar, which I can understand, but I'd rather not have to worry that much.

Also, I have a problem with those of you who see a stretch of open space and open up the throttle to see how fast you can go in that time, which is usually faster than the actual speed limit on the road you're parallel to.  Cars can only go 25mph and your 45mph-plus sprints are a bit worrisome.

Another thing;  you see that little sign that says "Caution: Driveway"?  There's a driveway there.  People use it occasionally.  Perhaps a bit of awareness would help as when I'm walking along with my daughter in a carrier, I would prefer not having to be constantly on-guard in case someone blows past there without even looking.

Last thing I'd like to mention I actually took a picture.  Observe:

Ugliness encapsulated in snow

That is an empty bottle of Smirnoff Ice deposited just off the trail.  I refused to take a picture of a discarded empty can of Natural Light, as my delicate sensibilities cannot comprehend people drinking the stuff.  My advice to you, besides simple things like "don't litter" and "don't drink while driving a huge motorized vehicle on snow" and other such pedestrian ideas, is if you are going to drink, please pick something worthy.  Even a Leinie's would have earned some respect with me, but this only has me thinking about a sad little person who thought they were drinking something "fancy".

Enjoy the off-season and I'm sure I'll see you again next year!

Note From the Trenches

I would like to start off saying this; all of you parents out there, anyone who has had to be responsible for the welfare of a child, I salute you.  Being the type of person who often reads about any new endeavor before actually doing it, I can honestly say that I wasn't completely prepared.  A lot of the reading I did beforehand was extremely valuable as I've used nearly every piece of information I've come across, but it wasn't going to cover everything.  Hat tip to you parents out there.

But spending this time with Audrey has been a complete joy.  I've been busier than I've ever been in my life.  Not that I'm rushing, but that there's always something that needs to be done and I'm compelled to keep going, keep positive and work through whatever it is that comes up.

I don't have any great insights, especially not to those who are already parents, just personal revelations about myself.  Honestly, I've learned so much about myself in the little-over-a-week stint of being a father.

Things lately have calmed down a bit, so I want to get back to my regular blogging schedule.  Don't expect to see long, rambling screeds like I've done in the past (not for awhile anyway).  No, posts will be more bite-sized, more snapshot in form, rather than crazy rambling old man yelling from his porch to get off his lawn and then mumbling about how things just aren't the way they used to be and how much he misses the taste of Tang.  Occasional tangential sentences still will be in vogue though, as you can see from the previous sentence.

Some family updates will still appear on the main page, but most will be shuffled off to the newly created Family page, which you should see a link at the top pointing you towards that portion of the website.

Until the next time, I have to sign off.  Only so much writing can be done between diapers.

A Letter to Audrey

Happy birthday!

Audrey Ann Kleiss Boerger

You don't know me yet...not really anyway.  You might recognize some of the weird speech patterns I have from the moments I talked to you while you were growing and developing.  But the voice probably sounds different.  Certainly different seeing that you're no longer swimming in a small bath of amniotic fluid and safely snuggled in your mother's womb.

You will get to know me as I'll be spending my time trying to guide you through life and answer the questions you'll have.  Hopefully you won't find me dull.  For my part, I want to be a good father to you and a good husband to your mother.  I'm far from perfect, but I want to do the best I can for you.  I can guarantee there will be a time where you find your father either old, dumb or hopelessly outdated.  Beyond those times, I will do my very best so you will find your father kind, loving, generous and understanding.

Not even an hour old...

There's so much to show you and help you experience.  There are some times you won't like me very much.  I know that we want to the best for you and sometimes that means that we have to say no and not let you do everything that may come to your mind.  The trade-off for this is probably not apparent right away, but we both hope that someday in the future, you might look fondly upon the choices we made with you.

I'm really excited about these years in front of us!  I'm considering all of the things I've learned that I can pass on.  I can't wait to share music I like, stories I find fascinating, places we love to go to, things we love to do.  I can't wait for the times I get to cook you your favorite meal, or going camping in northern Minnesota, or speaking a few words in German, or just kicking back and enjoying a fire in the stove while we both read a book and listen to good music.  Even though I know there will be a day where you consider my music to be "old" and will look for opportunity to stretch out and test those boundaries we've set, those moments where you stretch and assert yourself, be your own person with hopes and dreams and desires...those moments will be very precious to us.

Swaddled

I will also try to stay realistic.  I will try to temper my own desires for you because I know that you will find your own way.  I need to realize that beyond my expectations are things that you will do that will amaze me and make me very proud.

Above all of this, I hope that throughout our lives that we can talk to each other, joke around with each other and stay close.  As I've said to you each night as you were not yet born, we love you very much.  Our future together is going to be quite the ride.

Audrey and Melanie

Not Dead, Just Resting

I did write up a long post about friendship and how cool it is to have great friends...and I think I'll post something like that later, but the first draft ended up being far too junior high poetry class and maybe a bit too revealing about my own character.  Not that I'm against that at all, but it got to be too much for me.  I'm not really a mystery, but there are somethings that maybe are better as diary or journal entries rather than posts served up to the world.

Having said that, I know my recent production has been just more or less status updates and that's really how this post is going to be.  However, I will start to work on a more regular schedule and as soon as the baby arrives (there's one hint about what I was going to post up), there will be pictures and a little insight on what it's like for me officially being a father.  I can't tell you how strange that seems for me to type that right now.  Very surreal.  Anyway, other little things.

• Dog update!  Starla is doing fine.  After a minor setback a month ago with house training, we're all doing better.  There are the occasional, rare accidents, but that's really okay.  We need to work on her off-leash retrieval as that's slipped lately too, but she is a sweet dog, good mannered and seems happy.
• Baby update!  Yeah, not yet.  Still waiting.  Soon...I guess.  I have no idea when this is going to kick off, so we'll see what happens.
• Game update:  Not really playing Star Trek Online anymore.  Honestly, after hitting Commander (level 30) within a week, I got bored.  Also, I began to see more and more Rear Admirals wandering about the game.  I am going to wrap up my thoughts with the game and pool them together for the benefit of my friends who are interested, but I can't say it's going to be a glowing review.  On the other hand, recently started playing Global Agenda and I'm really finding this pretty fun.  Good times and hearkens back to the old days when FPS shooters were the online game of choice.  But it's better than that and it can be as simple or complex as you want to make it.  I'll probably write something about it later.  This review will be more positive, guaranteed.

Other than that, I've got some other blog posts coming up that I've been simmering on lately.  Partly, I wanted to talk about living in a small town again, this time stressing a bit more of the good that goes with being back in the Midwest.  I've also got a couple of rants coming up, strangely enough about how technology may not be a good thing right now and what the level effect is on a great deal of goings on within our country.  Good stuff, trust me.

Feb Friday Quick Hits

◊  Any day now.  I've mentioned that, haven't I?

◊  I've been off-line for quite some time.  There's a few reasons for this.  Part of it is getting used to being in a new place and forming a new routine.  Part of it is trying to cram in some game time before the baby arrives and part of it is that I'm feeling out of sorts.  The most difficult part of being out of sorts is that I need to get used to some of the loneliness which I'm going through.  Contrary to what rational people might do when confronted with loneliness, I usually shut in further.  I am getting better with the whole thing, so we'll see how the next couple of weeks go.  Just to let people know...I am okay.  I'm just opening up a little and admitting to some of the feelings I'm going through.  No need to worry.

◊  The launch for Star Trek Online went better than expected in terms of game stability and availability.  Good for them as I really thought they were going to bite it on launch day.  That still does not forgive them in terms of game content and a host of other problems the game is going to have.  Case in point, as I predicted, some one has already hit Rear Admiral which is the highest rank in the game.  In addition to that, they accomplished this feat during the head start period before the official launch!  That's about four days, folks.  Even with all of the downtime, someone still played enough to get to the end of the game.  And I don't believe this was a matter of simple power leveling, rather that there's just not that much content to pace the game more appropriately.

◊  One question that we get a lot lately?  What are the names?  I guess we'll all find out soon enough.

◊  I'm at Nina's enjoying a quick latte.  It's as good as I remember, even though they don't do the latte art I find appealing.  The taste is where it really counts and anything on top of that is gravy.  Not literally, because that would be gross.

We Are At Term

Yup. Any day now. Last week Thursday, if the birth had started, it wouldn't have been stopped but still would have been considered early. Now, we are officially in the "wheelhouse of birth", to coin a phrase.

The Enterprise Curse

I've been writing a bit about Star Trek Online (post coming soon, honest) and recently I had a post about if Scotty were an IT guy today.  I think it's fair to say that Star Trek itself has been on my mind lately.  I like the fact that the venerable franchise seems to be in resurgence with a successful movie out last year.  Thinking back on the movie though gives me a headache as there are so many logical fallacies in the movie (red matter, time travel, Romulans who wait in vengeance for twenty years, the Federation who never seems to investigate a destroyed ship, etc.), it finally dawned on me that the Enterprise wasn't really that good for the command crew.

Take Kirk.  Legendary captain who is torn out of time by the "ribbon" and never seen again except by Picard...who convinces him to go on one more adventure where he dies.  Must have been out of practice.  Bye bye, Kirk.

The latest movie has Spock sucked into a singularity (yeah, right) and into another time line.  Again, we have to assume that Spock never returns to his original time line and is gone for good.  Just as a side note, how interesting would it have been if they had gone back to the Mirror universe instead?  A brutal and vicious Kirk paired with the cold, calculating evil Spock.  I digress.

Two down...who's next?  Ah yes, my favorite.  The third in command of the Enterprise, Montgomery Scott.  Gets to the point where he was going into retirement and his ship runs into a Dyson Sphere.  He sets up some sort of transporter loop and is able to save himself until he can get rescued by Geordi LaForge and the Enterprise-D.  After that he shuffles off (get it?) to never be heard from again.

Who's left?  Bones lived to be a doddering old man, so there's that.  Sulu got his own ship eventually and didn't disappear.  There's surprisingly little to be said though of Chekov, Uhura or nurse Chapel.  More tragedy perhaps?  Given time, I'm sure the writers will certainly do some time travel thingy and mess things up with at least one of them dying.  A noble death, of course, but still dead.  Could be worse though.  They could end up drumming for Spinal Tap.

Late Night Goodness

My late night recommendation and on my viewing, I had to stifle a potentially loud laugh so I wouldn't wake my wife.  I've been a fan of the series "How It Should Have Ended" but this latest one about the Wizard of Oz was pretty funny.  Enjoy!

Quick Update

I'm working on the Star Trek Online piece I promised. Should be up tomorrow or Monday at the latest. Busy until then. Till then...TTFN.

Canada Apologizes

Thank you, Canada.  We're working on the beer thing.