I’ve been going through old journals lately.  Melanie and I have been packing up some items in anticipation of moving (nothing yet on a house, we’re just being a bit proactive) and it seems like when I do this or clean out the office, I find my numerous journals, notebooks and scraps of paper that have stuff jotted down.

It always surprises me what I find in these old bits of paper, partially filled notebooks and moleskins.  Sometimes it’s a feeling of “what was I thinking at that time” which can go one of two ways; either I have no idea what possessed me to think that thought at that particular moment or wow, that’s actually interesting but how in the world did I come up with it.

Some of the things I find are journal entries, moments of time I jotted down for whatever reason.  It’s a smattering of daily trivialities, momentous events, odd things I notice and feelings of a younger me.  It’s nice to come across these entries and see where I have been and how far I’ve come.  In a way, those things I wrote are from a much different me, one I don’t quite recognize even though it feels familiar.  Old blog posts don’t really count as I spend a little bit of time on revision, whereas the journal stuff is raw and unfiltered.

The more interesting bits I find are the story and character ideas I’ve stuck away on a piece of paper somewhere.  Some of those ideas never germinated, some of them stuck in my mind to grow over time, some of them are untapped, raw, strange.  More so than the journal entries, the story ideas give me a better glimpse of me in the past.  I don’t think if anyone else saw these fragments of ideas, they would be able to even interpret exactly what or even when they came about.  They would remind me of the context in which the idea formed and it would trigger other thoughts of the time, much like a certain song would bring back memories of moments you heard that song, or a smell would trigger memories of a place you’ve been before.

Going through these pieces is a lot like panning for gold.  It’s a lot of sifting through to get to the good bits and then a lot of examination to make sure that what you have is true and not something that could lead you astray.  That may seem a bit new-agey, but you get a feeling when what you write is not true to you and it just feels like you are forcing the words to come out.  Sometimes that’s necessary to get through the muck to get to the good bits, but starting with a good and true tidbit gets you started in a good way.

Nov 032006

For those of you who are interested (though I have no clue who that might be), you can track my progress here with this fancy little graphic I have here which might help. It will show my daily progress. I am sincerely hoping to put a little work in each day, although I have to admit I’m much more likely to have big days and days I just don’t do that much. My goal this year is to get it all done, working a little at a time every day. I think I can do it. Anyway, enjoy the graphic.

I know, I know. It’s been forever. Let me update one thing and then talk about another.

As you may or may not know, National Novel Writing Month is upon us. This is where many people across the globe attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in just 30 days (why isn’t it called International Novel Writing Month? It just doesn’t have that same zing!). I’ve done this twice before, both times winning which is essentially writing that many words. It’s about word count, not quality. It’s just writing the thing down and getting it on paper–or on your word-processor. The first year was a blast and I didn’t feel horrible about the finished product. The second year was a slump year. Oh, I still made it but I didn’t feel very good about what I wrote. This year I am quite excited about the whole thing and I am truly intending to needle away at that goal on a more consistent basis. Fortunately for me, I am a relatively fast writer when I’m not trying to criticize myself, which for me is the biggest challenge. Last year, I gave myself an end of the month cushion and told myself that I had all that time in the world. Big mistake. Almost missed it. This year, steady and surely toward the goal.

The other thing I wanted to mention is this whole blog thing. I do like to blog, but it’s a bit of a conundrum. I think of blog topics at work or walking around or sometimes when I’m surfing, but none of them seem all that important to write about. And at times I feel like I’m repeating myself…which could be true of this little paragraph here. One of my friends decided to stop blogging because he just didn’t feel it any more. I understand, only too well. Maybe what I need to do is make sure that I don’t try and do this once a day, but rather a couple times a week or even once a week. I think that is what is necessary. I hope I can do this. Both the blog and NaNo.

May 032006

I’ve been reading about this thing about Ms. Vishwanathan and plagiarizing and I came to a page that sounds like a lot of fun.  The website The Morning News has a contest that deals with this very thing.  As they quote on their site, they wonder:

Inspired by recent events, we wondered not “why does anyone plagiarize,” but “why aren’t more people better at plagiarizing?” And so we are launching a contest to see if there is a “writer” out there who can create a coherent and original piece of fiction completely made from the works of others.

And thus, the TMN “Sloppy Seconds With Opal Mehta” Contest in which a 750 word story is “written” using not one single original phrase or word.  All phrases must be cited and no single wording citing is allowed.  You must grab an entire phrase.  And you must crib at least five different books, although more is encouraged.  It sounds insanely difficult to pull off in a short time, but it also sounds fun.

I may have to try this.

May 032006

Not me. But you might have heard of Kaavya Viswanathan, the Harvard phenom who was inked to a $500,000 two-book deal practically fresh out of high school.

If you haven’t heard the story, here it is in a nutshell. Ms. Viswanathan wrote the book How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life. After it’s release, some readers noticed some similarities between this book and two books written by Megan McCafferty. There were 40-some similar passages, some of them almost verbatim. The excuse for this is that the young author internalized the books she read a few years ago and loved them so much that the passages were an unintentional inclusion.

Think about that. There’s a lot of great books that I love and there are passages that I remember from books I’ve read especially ones that I’ve read multiple times, but I don’t think I’ve ever written anything that used so much material. If you go to the Harvard Crimson analysis of the writings, you see near literal copying in certain passages. In a case getting worse by the minute, there are two more books with possible copying and another damning case revealed today. The movied deal has been killed and Ms. Viswanathan is not helping her case by saying that writing a book is hard and she would rather her second book be done so she could promote it.  And today we find out that her publisher has not only pulled the book but has cancelled her contract.  This young author is in it deep.

I wrote awhile back about James Frey, about his memoir which was fiction and how disappointed about it.  Here we break a different type of ground.  Ms. Viswanathan should have given Mr. Frey a call when she was stuck for a passage for fictional help.  She said those passages were unintentional, that they were stuck in her photographic mind and just wrote them down.  It’s a novel excuse, but the book count is now up to six different books by five different authors.

T.S. Eliot had a quote that is actually on poetry, but I think it may provide a bit of perspective.  He said “Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.”  At first glance, it may seem like a defense of plagiarism, but  in essence, it isn’t.  There are no original plots left and as writers, we stand on the shoulders of giants contributing what we can.  Knowing this, new stories are filtered through the lens of past stories, borrowing an idea, a character, a deft phrase and making it your own.  That is the essential point of writing.  This is what you  express, in your words.

In taking an idea, you can absorb it and write it out in your own words.  Obviously though, the idea here is not changing just a couple of words, moving the phrasing around or changing a slight characteristic of a character (which in reading some of the compared passages, she didn’t even do that), but being inspired by what you’ve read and taking a piece here, a snippet there and making it your own.  Even looking at Shakespeare’s works you can see a great deal of similarity between what he wrote and many other playwrights of the time.

At first, there was an initial outpouring for this girl, the young phenom who wowed a publisher so much she got a book deal without ever having anything published.  Then came the questions about her, the ever more shady Alloy Entertainment (who not only owns half the copyright, a strange practice as typically the authors have the only claim on it, but also helped her “conceptualize” the book) and the revelations that more books were copied, seemingly by the day.

Did Ms. Viswanathan do something wrong?  Absolutely.  I don’t think there’s much question that there was something not entirely forward here.  Does she deserve a second chance?  Yes, but it must be earned.  If there’s anything that Americans like more than an underdog, it’s a person, especially one of good fortune or privilege, falling far and fast , humbled and humiliated.  I don’t agree with it, but people love to see other people’s heroes fail.  The Germans have a word for it:  Schadenfreude.  It is pleasure in other’s misery.  I take no pleasure in this, but I hope that she learns a lesson about it, internalizes that lesson and if she really wants to be an author, works hard at an intensely difficult thing which is writing, succeeding on her own words and thoughts.

It’s….

Very quick side note here before I really get rocking on this.  I was fortunate to finally purchase the complete (or complet) Monty Python’s Flying Circus…all forty-five episodes on stunning DVD quality of the original broadcasts with all the warts and flaws.  So when I started out with “It’s…”, I, of course, thought of a bedraggled Michael Palin, dressed in a tattered suit, long beard, struggling to get to the camera, looking straight into the camera to say the should-be-patented “It’s…”, longing as he is to say more, but it cuts away right into the credits.  Somehow seemed seredipitous because I didn’t mean to start this way, but I just did.

Anyway, sidebar over, I’m sitting at the wonderful Acadia Cafe on the corner of Nicollet and Franklin learning more about blogging and even more about podcasting.  After this day, I am convinced that I will do a podcast, and I will do one soon.  No more waiting.  But more about that later as I want to talk about the Acadia Cafe for a second.

This place is wonderful.  It has a fine beer selection, decent food offerings and the background music is not only unobtrusive, it strikes that fine balance between engaging and comforting.  I’m currently enjoying a fine beer by the new Twin Cities brewery Surly…I highly recommend the Surly Bender, a porter-like offering with a hint of hoppiness, mild bitter and chocolate overtones and a smooth finish.  I’m on my second one, and this is with other fine tap offerings like Old Speckled Hen, Beamish, Shiner Bock and Pilsner Urquel, just to name a few of my favorites that tempted me.  That and I saw they offer the very fine Rogue Shakespeare Stout in a bottle.   This is definitely a place I am coming back.

The meeting here was organized by Garrick VanBuren whom I consider the godfather of Minnesota podcasting and a friend of mine.  Garrick’s First Crack podcast has been going on for two years now and has covered the gamut of topics.  I also met a couple of other bloggers and podcasters, including Dan Hook with the Hook Show.  I’m forgetting a couple of guys I know, but I’ll make that up at some point.

Here’s the deal though.  Although podcasting is saturated right now, as well as blogging, who cares.  I’m going to do what I’m going to do.  If people listen, great.  If not, I stop and go to something else.  I looked at the equipment I’ll need for this and barebones, this will still cost me around $329 (not including cables).  Ideally, I get a couple other things and I’m looking at $600-800.  Still less than what I paid for my laptop.

So there it is.  Expect a podcast in the near future, within the week I would say.   There’s no reason for me not to do this.

I like most memoirs I read. I’ve read David Sedaris, Dave Eggers and right now I’m pouring into a book called A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, which is an engaging travel journal about the Appalachian Trail. In each of the books, you think to yourself that what they are going through is true, but you take it with a grain of salt, you understand that this truth is viewed from the lens of the author. Names can be changed, certain details left out and the story and the essence of the experience is still there. The stories aren’t completely factual. They are, after all, stories. These guys are authors, not journalists. But there’s a fine line that is here. They write engaging stories, but those are based on facts, on things that really happened, on experiences they went through.

Not so much for James Frey and his “memoir”, A Million Little Pieces, which I won’t link to. If you want to find it, you can go ahead and look it up. This was passed off as a book of truth, of something so real that it couldn’t be embellished. It was too real. Oprah’s book club gobbled this book up and apparently was so taken by it’s content, she gushed about it on her show and had this guy as the only guest when they talked about it.

But it’s not real. Not the parts that mattered anyway. Much of the turning points of the book have been challenged on the website The Smoking Gun. They have looked up the periods of time and deconstructed what might have happened on those fateful nights that make up a good part of the book. His claims of being so drunk he blew a .36 which was a county record and his fighting with policemen as they send him to jail seem to be nothing more than an ordinary DUI arrest, no fighting and no jail time–in fact with the reporting officers saying that he was polite and cooperative.

So what’s the big deal then? A guy embellishes his memoir about his struggle with drugs, alcohol and the law–what’s new about that? But to me, it’s how it’s done, it’s what was represented. Tom Scocca breaks down a lot of his book in The New York Observer and although I can do without much of the comparissons about how lying has become more pervasive and acceptable in our society, he does make a good point about what is wrong with Frey’s book. Take for instance this portion of his article:

Thus, the copyright page of My Friend Leonard informs readers: “Some names and identifying characteristics have been changed. Some sequences and details of events have been changed.”
Fine. Then comes the opening sentence: “On my first day in jail, a three hundred pound man named Porterhouse hit me in the back of the head with a metal tray.”
In other words: “On my first day in jail*, a three hundred pound man** named Porterhouse*** hit me in the back of the head**** with a metal tray*****.”
*The author never went to jail.
**Weight is an estimate; also the author, not being in jail, never met such a person.
***Not his real name; also the author never met such a person.
****Because the author’s head was not present in jail, such a blow did not actually land.
***** The composition of the tray is a guess, because the author did not actually get hit by it, because the author was never in jail.

That’s why there is a problem with the book. So much of it depends on actual truth to be an effective memoir.  If those things didn’t actually happen, this is nothing but a crappy novel. After the Smoking Gun came out with the initial accusations, we heard much clammoring about how this was true and that there would be a big libel suit against the website for printing such falsehoods. Shortly after that, you could almost hear the sound of footsteps as everyone involved with the book started backpeddling, started to say this was a memoir that may not be completely true. We heard a great deal of their new phrase–the book was embellished in areas, but there was an “essential truth” to the story behind it. Put in these terms, I was reminded of the word “truthiness”, the definition from Stephen Colbert, not the Oxford English Dictionary. (By the way, if you want a good laugh, click the truthiness link.  It’s more or less unrelated to what I’m writing about, but still a funny read.)

What does the whole thing boil down to? It’s a good question, one that I think calls the definition of a memoir, what qualifies as one, what wouldn’t, where is that line drawn between truth and fiction. Is the author, James Frey guilty of misrepresenting his book, or did the publisher take liberty with his book, sold it for something it’s not? I don’t know the answers to these questions, although I’ve had them rattle around in my head for awhile. Being an author, I believe that memoirs are really about truth to the author, although the events that happened may not have happened in that exact way. But, and this is the point I cannot let slide, those events had to have happened. Oprah has picked the next book in her series as Elie Wiesel’s Night, a memoir who was also questioned about what had actually happened. But there is a difference here: no one questions that Mr. Wiesel had survived the holocaust and spent time in concentration camps. The question of Mr. Frey ever spending a night in jail is real.  If his book is based on those simple facts and they weren’t true, then Mr. Frey, the publishers, Oprah and every other apologist can talk all they want about “essential truth”, but the book is a lie. A lie repeated does not make a truth.

As I was trying to talk this out to myself and Laura was gracious enough to listen to me, I came to certain theories.  Writers of all stripes, even novelists, have a contract with the reader. That unspoken agreement is about truth, that the events that happen in the book have a certain truth to them, that the author is true to his characters.  Writing is ultimately the exploration of truth, even when the entire story is made up.  It’s a truth about the human condition.  But it is still about truth.  Novelists have to be true to character, story and setting, otherwise it reads false.  Journalists need to be true to the facts (although that seems to be less of a trend lately).  Essayists need to be true to what they believe, otherwise their writing rings hollow.  We expect memoirists to be true to the events and their views or feelings towards them, especially those who trumpet so loud about what is real and what isn’t.  Without truth, it doesn’t matter what you write because you are cheating the reader and, eventually, yourself.

End of NaNo

Thoughts, Writing Comments Off
Dec 072005

I’m done. And actually, I’ve been done for days. After a stunning jump of nearly 26,000 words in three days, I’m tired. I’m burned-out, actually. Sad to say, I don’t really care about the book or the characters that much. I think it is a bad sign that I can’t really remember the names of my characters that much, other than remembering what the first letters of their names happen to be.

I think this is good for me, to realize that I should care more about the material, more about the characters. It was hard, but I also proved to myself that I can crank out a lot of words in a short amount of time. That last day, I had at least 14,000 words to go and I proved that I could do it. Starting by 9am, I cranked out a pile of words. By noon, I had 4,000 down and 10,000 to go. By 5pm (including a two hour break to refresh the creative juices), I had another 5,000 down and 5,000 left. By 8:30pm, I had 50,150 words and validated. After working out the problems of formatting which lopped off nearly 2,000 wordsBasically what happened is that the footnotes I included in the introduction/appendix were lost when moving it from ODF format to simple TXT. Ironic, really that a technique I used to pad my words would end up getting lost at the end. Ironic as well that I include this note in a footnote as well., I validated my word count and celebrated a few hours early of December 1st.

Sad though, that I haven’t really felt like writing too much since. However, I have thought about some other work, something that is going to mean more to me. I want to take time with my next book. I’m not sure what it will be. Maybe a memior, maybe it will be parody. It would be fun to be parody, but I’m not sure I can seperate my thoughtfullness out of it. I heard a young girl read her fantasy parody and was impressed with her style. It also made me realize that I have a long way to go on that track. It seemed like she was able to write that so easily, so effortlessly. Made me wish I could do the same.

Anyway, I will get back to writing more thoughts here. I’ve missed blogging.

The good news about NaNoWriMo: Every time I’ve sat down to write, I’ve banged out more than 4,000 words each time, with a personal best of cranking out around 6,000 words in a 3 1/2 hour session. That’s moving for me.

The bad news about NaNoWriMo: I’ve only truly sat down to write about three times in 15 days. That’s not good. I’m behind, I know it. Sure, huge production when I’m sitting down and getting the words on my PC, good for me, but I’m just not sitting down enough.

Part of it has to do with the fact that sometimes, no matter how you try to not think about it, or if you try defend yourself against it, sometimes you think that what you are writing is total and complete shit. It’s hard to fight against. Not only that, it’s discouraging. Now for the most part, my internal editor has taken a month off. That means that when I do sit down to write, that part of me is mostly gone so I don’t worry about plot holes or bad characterization, or my worst writing flaw of mine, using so many points of view that the reader can’t tell whose head they’re currently in. The bad part is that the close friend of the internal editor is that voice in your head that tells you that what you are doing is pointless when you are away from your writing. That, for me, is t-o-u-g-h, tough.

And there are other things at work against me. I don’t particularily like writing at home. It’s too distracting. If I lived a simple life where I didn’t have high speed internet, a collection of books and movies, Netflix and the ever-present TV, I think I would get more done. I also think it would be pretty boring because I don’t see myself writing all the time in my spare time. Maybe someday I can break from the material world and do something worth that time. I’ll admit I’m weak now, but maybe someday. Anyway, if I want to write, I have to be somewhere else. As much as I like local coffee shops and hope they are successful, there are a lot of people that go there and that can be distracting as well. In fact, I wanted to go to Blue Moon Cafe the other night and found out that it was packed. It usually is, but it was discouraging for me to even go there. I drove down to Dunn Brothers and found a similar fate. Personally, writing in seclusion works pretty well for me, but I just don’t get that chance. I drove all the way to Nina’s where I settled down for a nice burst of words.

Regardless, I have a deadline to meet and I have too many commitments to others not to finish this year. Not only do I want to finish with over 50,000 words, but I want to finish the story as well. I want to have a completed story this year. The way the story is turning out, I’m not sure I can do it under 70,000. In the last couple of weeks of November, that is a lot of words to crank out. But I think I can do it. I have to. I have a deadline.

Nov 012005

November 1st is always an exhilarating day. You get heady and flush with the idea of doing a novel (or in some cases, another novel) and the ideas just start whooshing out of your head faster than you can get them down. Often times, you think of an idea and the thought is “that is possibly the worst idea ever”, but during this month, none of that matters. Your internal editor is on vacation. As Hemmingway said, all first drafts are shit. How true that is.

It was so good to get some writing done, to get so much of it done in one day. I feel like I’m off to a better start than I was last year. 4,095 words today. That’s a little done at noon (around 600) and the balance of it done between 7pm and 11pm tonight. In all, four and 1/2 hours produced a little over 4,000 words. Now that is actually down from what I usually can type. I can usually get ungodly numbers of words down in a little bit of time. I did a little editing of myself tonight as I tried to do two things that I normally don’t do when I write. First of all, I tried to concentrate and provide some detail (that’s when I started to take off with some of my word counts) and also, I tried to keep within one point of view. I often switch points of view as quickly as I think of someone else. I bring in someone else’s thoughts into a scene and don’t even realize it. I think to myself, what is this guy thinking right now, how should he react, and before you know it, boom. I’ve switched into someone elses head for a second and then pop back in where I was before. Because of these awarenesses, it has slowed me down a bit, but not too much. Hopefully, I can get back on this train and keep going.

Tomorrow should be a good night for this as well. I should be able to get around four hours more tomorrow. If I can achieve another 4,000 words, that would be awesome. Actually, that should be able to get me to where I want to be to actually start the main story. I know it sounds confusing, but tonight was a part of the appendix and the prologue. Should get to the actual story by Thursday, at least that is the plan.

More updates as I’m able to produce them. If I have time (and if it is easy), I’d like to provide a progress bar so others could view how I’m doing without hoping the the NaNoWriMo site. We’ll see what I can do.

Oct 052005

I signed up for NaNoWriMo yesterday and got in today. I’m pumped up for it again this year.

For those of you who don’t know, November is National Novel Writing Month, hence Na-No-Wri-Mo. It started six years ago on a bet, more or less. Now it has really expanded to something impressive. I believe that last year, 40,000 people tried to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, from start to finish. It is a labor of love, built on the honor system. Most novels won’t be read and those who do finish, the chance of being published are slim and quite close to none.

You do get to know some great people and kindred spirits who are doing the same thing. You spend a lot of time in coffee shops, you spend more time with your laptop than you do with your loved ones and all you have to show for it usually is a bunch of words in a file that could fit on a floppy.

It’s great fun though. If it sounds like something you’re curious about, check out the friendly website.

Scars

Thoughts, Writing Comments Off
Sep 272005

Just got some photos from my sister-in-law of their son. He is a cute kid. One of the pictures was of him eating what looks like a vanilla waffer, one of your great kid foods if there ever was one. In his little hand, he holds a partially eaten cookie, the lightly baked crispy crust which has turned into a mush, now covers his face and hands. It’s a site that you can’t help but smile.

For some reason, I looked close at his hands. Small, delicate, unblemished–then I looked at my own. I don’t have bad hands, but they have aged. There are the big scars like the one on my middle finger on my left hand that needed stitches. I got that when I was young, too young for me to even remember. My sister closed a door on my hand and broke it open. Only recently I learned that apparently I asked my sister to do it. You have to admire my curiousity bursting out so young.

Other scars on my hands are smaller, subtle. Most of them don’t even have even interesting stories to go with them. There’s a small scar on the top of my right hand that I got when I was reaching for something in my car underneath the seat and it scraped the top of my hand. I thought it would just go away, but it left a mark. There are those that I don’t even remember getting, especially those on my knuckles.

In a way, those scars are as much of my life as anything else. I look at Quinn, my nephew, and see that he has virtually no marks and as he gets older, he’ll get them, much like everyone else. Each of those marks, those scars, will have their own story, their own experience or life. Each of them will be an individual mark of something that happened.

At first I felt bad about how my hands looked, about how old I seemed. But a quick reflection and I realize that it’s nothing more than the life I’ve lived and the scars are just reminders of time passing and leaving the occasional mark.

Sep 262005

There are as many ways to write a story as there are grains of sand. I’ve done a lot to try and read about different techniques of writing. It’s not like math where if you are shown a way to do a formula, that way works and it works for everyone. A creative act like writing isn’t the same. You can be taught a technique and it may work for some people, if it is a very good technique, it will work for a good many people, but it won’t work for everyone. Some techniques are so specific they’ll only work for the one person who thought of it.

Where do you start? Do you start with plot as a good many authors do? Do you start with the characters and see where they take you? Do you start with an idea of what you want and go from there with the plot or characters? Where does it start? Where can it start?

That’s really the question, isn’t it? Where does the process begin for the writer, for that particular writer, for this particular time. Some coaches, not all of them though, will tell you to write first thing every morning, before you do anything else, before you get your day started. I am not a morning person. I have a tough time to remember how to put my pants on much less sitting down and getting my thoughts down on the paper. I’m not sure it would do me any good to write in the morning. My brain hasn’t really switched on and it is still in sleep mode. I’m at my best at the end of the day, when I can process what has happened during the day, get those things down on paper.

What seems to have worked for me is to find a desire and go from there. Characters need desire, they need something to drive them forward and reach for. Once the desire is there, all sorts of things can happen. With that desire, you can start to shape that character in your mind a bit better, start to give him or her shadows to cast. And of course, that deep desire is begging for all sorts of obstacles in the way.

Without desire, needs and wants, characters are pretty dull. They’re just filler, people who sit on the sofa and live day to day until they die. All they do is exist. Nothing more. You want to have a person with drive, otherwise what’s the point.

That was the big problem with my last book. My main character was rudderless for at least half of the book and when he actually decided to do something, it was fairly unmotivated. To be fair, nearly all of my characters were terribly unmotivated.

At least that will be corrected this year in my sophmore attempt at NaNoWriMo. I’m looking forward to it.

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